To You, the One Making Arrangements,
Planning a funeral is emotionally overwhelming, logistically complex, and almost always happens under time pressure. You may never have done this before. You may be making decisions through a fog of grief while well-meaning people give contradictory advice.
This guide is here to cut through the noise. It breaks the entire process into clear steps so you can make informed decisions, avoid unnecessary expenses, and give your loved one the tribute they deserve. Come back to it as many times as you need.
You do not have to figure this out alone, and you do not have to decide everything today.
Before You Begin: Know Your Rights
The single most important consumer protection in the funeral industry is the FTC Funeral Rule. Understanding it before you walk into a funeral home changes everything.
The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule (16 CFR Part 453) protects you from predatory pricing and bundling.
Your Rights Under the FTC Funeral Rule
- Itemized pricing
- Every funeral home must provide a written General Price List (GPL). They must give prices over the phone if you ask.
- No bundling
- You can pick individual services. No one can force you into a package.
- Outside purchases
- They must accept caskets and urns you buy elsewhere -- no handling fees allowed.
- Embalming is optional
- Almost never required by law. Refrigeration is an alternative.
- Written consent
- They need your permission before embalming.
Violations can be reported to the FTC at 1-877-FTC-HELP or ftc.gov/complaint. Keep a copy of the GPL from every funeral home you visit.
Obtain the Death Certificate
The death certificate is the foundational legal document for everything that follows -- insurance claims, bank access, property transfers, Social Security notifications, and the funeral itself.
Who completes it: The attending physician, medical examiner, or coroner completes the cause-of-death section. The funeral home files it with vital records and orders certified copies.
How Many Copies to Order
Request 10 to 15 certified copies ($10-$25 each depending on state). You will need one for each life insurance policy, bank account, property transfer, Social Security, and probate court.
Choose a Funeral Home
This is the most consequential financial decision. Prices for identical services can vary by 50% or more between providers in the same city.
Call at least 3 funeral homes
Request their General Price List over the phone. They are legally required to give you prices.
Visit in person
The FTC requires them to hand you a written GPL before discussing arrangements.
Compare line by line
The basic services fee (non-declinable) ranges from $2,000-$3,000 and varies significantly.
Ask about packages vs. itemized
Sometimes a package saves money; sometimes it bundles things you don't need.
What to evaluate: Proximity to family and burial/cremation site, reputation (ask hospice nurses and clergy), specific capabilities (green burial, religious traditions), and availability for preferred dates.
Use the RememberMe.fm funeral services directory to compare providers in your area.
The Big Decisions
Disposition, service type, and the practical details that shape how you say goodbye.
Decide on Disposition
Disposition refers to the final handling of the body. The deceased's stated wishes should drive this decision.
| Service | Cost |
|---|---|
| Traditional burial (viewing + service + vault) | $9,995 |
| Traditional burial (viewing + service, no vault) | $8,300 |
| Cremation with viewing and memorial service | $6,280 |
| Direct burial (no viewing, no service) | $5,138 |
| Direct cremation (no viewing, no service) | $2,202 |
| Green burial (biodegradable casket, no vault) | $1,000 – $4,000 |
| Human composting (14 states) | $5,000 – $7,000 |
Embalming is not required by law in most states. It is a funeral home policy for open-casket viewings, not a legal mandate. Refrigeration is a perfectly acceptable and less expensive alternative.
Cremation
Now chosen by over 60% of American families, projected to reach 80% by 2045. Families can hold a full service before cremation or opt for direct cremation with a memorial later.
Green and Alternative Dispositions
- Green burial: Biodegradable casket or shroud, no embalming, no vault. Cost: $1,000-$4,000 excluding plot.
- Aquamation (alkaline hydrolysis): Water-based, 1/10th the energy of cremation. Legal in 28+ states.
- Human composting (terramation): Body transformed into soil over 30-45 days. Legal in 14 states as of 2026: Washington, Oregon, Colorado, Vermont, California, New York, Nevada, Minnesota, Maryland, Delaware, Maine, Arizona, Georgia, and New Jersey.
Plan the Service
Work with the funeral director and any clergy or officiant to design the service. There is no single correct format.
Types of Services
| Type | Description |
|---|---|
| Religious funeral | Led by clergy, following denominational liturgy |
| Celebration of life | Personalized, non-religious, focused on stories |
| Military honors | Flag folding, Taps, honor guard for eligible veterans |
| Graveside service | Entire service at the cemetery |
| Memorial service | Without the body present, days/weeks later |
Personalizing the Tribute
The most memorable funerals include personal touches: display their hobby equipment on a memory table, play their actual favorite music (not just hymns), invite attendees to write memories on cards, and commission a personalized memorial song from RememberMe.fm.
Paperwork, Costs, and What Comes Next
The administrative side of loss. Legal steps, financial decisions, and strategies to protect your family from unnecessary expense.
Handle Legal and Financial Paperwork
Key Phone Numbers
- Social Security
- 1-800-772-1213 (TTY: 1-800-325-0778)
- Veterans Affairs
- 1-800-827-1000
- FTC complaints
- 1-877-FTC-HELP
- 988 Crisis Lifeline
- Call or text 988 (24/7)
Within the First Week
- Social Security: Call to stop benefits. Surviving spouse/child may qualify for survivor benefits. SSA pays a one-time $255 lump sum death benefit.
- Employer: Request final paycheck, accrued vacation, employer life insurance, 401(k) beneficiary forms.
- Life insurance: File claims with certified death certificate copies. Payouts typically arrive in 30-60 days.
- Veterans Affairs (if applicable): Up to $2,000 for service-connected deaths; $1,002 burial + $1,002 plot allowance for non-service-connected deaths (as of October 2025).
Within the First Month
- Banks and credit cards: Freeze or retitle accounts. Do not pay the deceased's debts before consulting an attorney.
- Probate court: File the will if required. Joint accounts with right of survivorship pass automatically.
- Subscriptions: Cancel streaming, gym, magazines, and autopay arrangements.
Within 90 Days
- Final tax return: Form 1040, due April 15 of the following year.
- Property transfers: Retitle real estate, vehicles, and investments.
Write and Publish the Obituary
Include: full legal name (and nicknames), dates, city of residence, surviving and predeceased family, education/career/military service, hobbies, service details, and charitable donation information.
Cost: Local newspapers charge $100-$500+ depending on length. Online platforms (Legacy.com, funeral home website) and social media are free or low-cost alternatives.
Manage and Minimize Costs
| Service | Cost |
|---|---|
| Funeral with viewing, burial, and vault | $9,995 |
| Funeral with viewing and burial (no vault) | $8,300 |
| Cremation with viewing and memorial service | $6,280 |
| Direct burial (no viewing, no service) | $5,138 |
| Direct cremation | $2,202 |
Pre-Planning: The Gift of Preparation
If you are reading this before a death has occurred, you have an enormous advantage. Pre-planning removes the decision-making burden from grieving family members.
Caution on Prepaid Plans
State regulations on prepaid funeral plans vary significantly. Some states require 100% of funds be held in trust; others require only a portion. If the funeral home goes out of business or you move, transferability depends on the contract. Consider whether a dedicated savings account or small whole life insurance policy offers more flexibility.
Complete Checklist
- Obtain death certificate — Order 10-15 certified copies
- Choose a funeral home — Compare at least 3 General Price Lists
- Decide on disposition — Burial, cremation, green burial, or other
- Plan the service — Type, location, date, speakers, music
- Write and publish obituary
- Notify Social Security — Call 1-800-772-1213
- Notify employer, pension, and life insurance
- Contact Veterans Affairs if applicable — Call 1-800-827-1000
- Notify banks and financial institutions
- File life insurance claims
- Cancel subscriptions and recurring payments
- File final tax return — Due April 15 of following year
- Initiate probate if required
- Send thank-you notes — Within 2-4 weeks
You do not have to figure this out alone.
Planning a funeral is never easy, but approaching it methodically ensures your loved one receives a meaningful tribute while protecting your family from unnecessary expense.
Frequently Asked Questions
- How much does a funeral cost in 2026?
- The median cost of a funeral with viewing, burial, and vault is $9,995. A funeral with viewing and burial without a vault costs $8,300. Direct cremation averages $2,202. Prices vary significantly by provider -- always compare at least 3 General Price Lists.
- Do I have to use embalming?
- Embalming is almost never required by law. It is a funeral home policy for open-casket viewings, not a legal mandate. Refrigeration is a perfectly acceptable and less expensive alternative, saving $700-$1,000.
- Can I buy a casket from somewhere other than the funeral home?
- Yes. Under the FTC Funeral Rule, funeral homes must accept caskets and urns purchased elsewhere and cannot charge a handling fee. Retailers like Costco, Walmart, and Amazon sell caskets at a fraction of funeral home prices.
- How many death certificates do I need?
- Order 10 to 15 certified copies ($10-$25 each depending on state). You will need one for each life insurance policy, bank account, property transfer, Social Security, and probate court.
- What is the FTC Funeral Rule?
- The Federal Trade Commission's Funeral Rule (16 CFR Part 453) requires funeral homes to provide itemized pricing, allow you to pick individual services, accept outside caskets and urns, and obtain written consent before embalming. Violations can be reported at 1-877-FTC-HELP.
If you want an option beyond standard playlists, this complete guide to custom memorial songs explains timing, process, and what families can expect.
Related Resources
Honoring a loved one? Create a personalized memorial song at RememberMe.fm